A Change Of Venue

Up on the hill
They’ve got time to burn,
There’s no return.
Double helix in the sky tonight,
Throw out the hardware,
Let’s do it right.

Why are men afraid of vibrators…? I’ve never understood that. To me, they’re the perfect gift for any girlfriend or wife (yours, not someone else’s - careful with that shit!)

They’re not a threat to anyone’s masculinity or offensive in any way. In fact, they’re playful and fun and incredibly useful in the right hands.

The next time you think a dozen long-stemmed red roses will do the trick, try spending an extra twenty dollars and slip a ‘pocket rocket’ into the bouquet. See what effect THAT has on her.

Alright, I’ll admit: having a dozen long-stemmed red roses shoved up your ass — “Thorns, THORNS!” — probably isn’t the reaction you were looking for. And maybe the first date — let alone a blind date — isn’t the ideal opportunity.

No, timing and discretion are important. And understanding her is crucial. Maybe she’s shy, maybe she thinks that this ‘toy’ is just a tad too personal. Your offer of it should be a signal that you have a desire to experiment, to show her that you care about her pleasure and you are willing to share and be shared with. (more…)

I know she can see me. I can see her. There are only three things in the room and the chair doesn’t count! Hello - over here.

Nice dress, by the way. Don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress. Not… that one, anyway. Red is definitely your colour.

Hello - I’m talking to you! Trying to get your attention over here. Remember me…? Hello….

Hmm….

I thought I knew her… from before. Like when she was running around being all efficient and shit. Things got done. She was soooo… with it. Who knew. I thought I knew.

There was that one time, when she actually listened to something I was saying, and laughed. In all the right places too. That was cool.

Then she was aloof. Still there, but not there, you know? Women - I don’t get it.

While once at sea, a Toucan did I see,
beating her outstretched wings.
She flew so fast, my hopes were dashed -
No time to hear her sing.

And then it occurred, a splash I heard,
A Penguin could she be…?
Laughing and smiling, swooping and diving
in and out of the sea.

Another look, perhaps I mistook
a Hummingbird in flight.
Over and over, she darted for cover,
Always just out of sight.

And then it was clear, she flew so near,
At last I could truly see:
Not a Hummingbird, Toucan or Penguin at all,
But a Puffin… she was all three!

What do you see when you look at me…?

Yeah, red is definitely your colour.

Today, a new category. Erotica.

If a person’s life is measured as much by what they think as what they do — a sum of all the parts — then that person’s sexuality inhabits, and sometimes inhibits that life.

At times overt, at others covert, sex, in both action and thought can be fun, infuriating, exciting, frustrating, exhilarating, emotional, painful or liberating… sometimes all at once.

The posts in this category are all based on experiences of mine. Stories, poetry, reminiscences, reflections… descriptions of what was (yea!), what wasn’t (boo!) and what might have been (damn!) Some of this erotica has been published elsewhere, and in those cases it will be so attributed. Some is more personal and is to be found in the depths of a file folder, itself buried deep in an old banker’s box, ‘repurposed’ here.

Whether I’m comfortable in posting my erotic thoughts alongside my political musings is something I haven’t quite come to terms with yet. The perils of mixing sex with politics continue to make for strange, not to mention strained bedfellows. Consider Mackay v. Stronach; Foley v. GOP; Clinton v. That Woman. So, maybe I should look at this online journal as a form of unauthorized autobiography so I can disown it at some personally convenient and advantageous time in the future!

Anyway… Back in May I met this girl on a plane. Alright, fine! I met this young woman on a plane…. (more…)