A Change Of Venue

“On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound.”

A couple of years ago I decided I needed a little R&R. But being no ordinary beach bohemian, I opted for a road trip. A desert road trip. The American Southwest has always beckoned, and after several business-based parachute trips (drop in, pop out), I figured Arizona and points south (and west) would fit the bill nicely. I was right.

I traversed mostly back roads and stayed only on the edges of the maps, opting for solitary ribbons of red dust, a trunk full of fresh water and zero agenda. Along the way I got lost (thankfully), got chased (speedily), and got enlightened (clearly). Mission accomplished, as someone once said.

My e-mail missives home to various and sundry semi-interested parties tell the tale. Well, most of it. As so it begins….

Photo captions are time and place of WiFi connectivity.

May 16th
Staying at the Big 8… sorry: Super 8 in Kingman where the WiFi is US$11.98 for 24 hours, and stealing WiFi from the EconoLodge next door, which is free. Bwa ha ha!

First off, best bumper sticker so far. In the window of a dirty pick-up truck with a gun rack and a REAL gun in it (of course):

“8 OUT OF 10 VOICES IN MY HEAD SAY: DON’T SHOOT!”

It’s just turning 7:00pm here in beautiful (not!) downtown Kingman.

Lots to tell, starting with a three-hour monkey fuck trying to pick up the rental - unbelievable! In the end it’s an electric blue PD Cruiser. Yeah - that’ll keep me inconspicuous. They can see me from space!

I’m in the middle of a combination dust/rain storm… and it’s still about 90 degrees! Just had great Chinese food at a local greasy spoon.

See if there’s any photography online for a town called — I’m not kidding — Chloride, Arizona. Spent two hours there this afternoon. Damn near tore off the oil pan! What a hoot!

Tomorrow I’m continuing south toward Tucson, but I’m making a stop at a small ghost town called Vulture (look it up!)

Las Vegas was weird - it’s changed so much since last I was here. It truly has been turned into Disneyland. Won $80 at slots last night (the streak is still alive!) while listening to a drunk zydeco band in the Sahara Hotel lounge. The winnings paid for my room at the Sahara, breakfast and drinks while playing slots. Watched a couple of ‘Area 51′ jets take off on the other side of a fence.

Three bad things happened today. Since things always occur in threes, I’m hopeful that this shit is outta the way.

1. The bottoming out on a desert trail heading toward an old mine with petroglyphs. Gave up on it unfortunately. If I had fucked the vehicle, they would have found me years from now, clutching my empty water bottle, my skeletonized finger writing the word FUCK on the dusty dashboard in my own vomit… but I digress.

2. I decided to take a cruise down the strip past all the fancy schmancy casinos before heading south. To my right a jobbers pick-up truck was entering via an onramp at a high rate of speed. He miscalculated the turn and lost a HUGE bucket of tar. It bounced — right in front of me! — out of the back of the pick-up, spun around a dozen times while inertia still moved it forward. I braked, threw the PT Cruiser to the left barely missing the spinning tub (it could have been empty for all I know, but it was still a projectile!). The driver never noticed he’d lost it - never slowed down. As I looked in the rearview mirror, everyone behind me was swerving and braking to avoid the still-spinning tub. Then it happened… BANG! Someone hit it head on. It was full of tar! Never saw the aftermath, but I’m guessing it wasn’t pretty.

3. On Highway 215 heading for Kingman — flat, hot desert like you see in movies — there was this sound like a plane approaching. Keep in mind I’m doing 80MPH with no one around. Then a HUGE shadow goes past my windscreen. At the last minute I realize, whatever it is, is right above me. BANG! It flies directly into a road sign at the side of the road, and shatters into a couple of smaller, but still big pieces. It was a 4 x 8 sheet of plywood! It must have fallen off a truck or something. The wind, which was getting pretty strong by then (hey, there’s nothing to stop it - it’s fuckin’ flat!) just picked it up and messed with it. Scared the shit out of me.

So, that’s it - I’m stayin’ inside with beer. Tomorrow’s another day.

Did some HDR and panoramic stuff at the Hoover Dam and at a vista lookout in MOFN (Middle of Fuckin Nowhere). Curious to see how those look. By the way, grabbed a great little map of Arizona from this general store in Chloride. The vast space to the east, adjacent to New Mexico, is notated as EL GRANDE NADA - The Big Fuckall! Bwa ha ha!

Also, this tiny pissant prairie town has only one restaurant. It’s called ‘Yesterday’s Restaurant’, cause all they serve is yesterday’s meatloaf, yesterday’s soup, yesterday’s casserole… great sense of humour!

More tomorrow, wifi permitting.

Reporting tonight from ghost town Chloride, Arizona