Five years ago today I departed for the warm confines of the south seas - Fiji to be precise. It had been three long years of work, and nothing much but. Three weeks of R&R wandering through the islands of Fiji not only seemed appropriate but necessary.

Shortly after the events of 9/11 — less than a month, in fact — I travelled to France for the MIPCOM convention. Television production conferences are always fascinating affairs. Wheeling and dealing, and eating and drinking go hand in hand with hobbing and nobbing amongst delegates and decision-makers from all over the world. Place all that activity along the La Croisstte of Cannes and the week becomes a place where business and pleasure meet.

However, this particular event, taking place as it did so close to the calamity of the Twin Towers, meant that fewer Americans made the trip. Fear of flying and, by extension, concern over security and safety in a foreign locale kept thousands from travelling. As such, European and Asian buyers and sellers ruled the day and dominated the week, possibly for the first time ever.

What does this have to do with my trip to Fiji? Absolutely nothing, other than to underscore the experience of travelling through foreign countries with people who are constantly looking over their collective shoulders.

My ‘South Seas Memoir’ fits perfectly into this series. This was my first adventure into the ‘true’ South Pacific (I’ve returned a couple of times since), but this trip held several adventures and many experiences that were a result of their time. There had been a coup in Fiji barely a year before and some things had changed - tourists had been slow to return. Also, because of 9/11 Americans were scarce, practically non-existent in fact, so my experiences with other travellers were with Kiwis, Aussies, Latins, Asians, Brits and yes, French.

I was a bit of novelty among them myself. Constantly being mistaken for American, and constantly correcting (”Canadian, actually”), I found the conversations that ensued nothing short of fascinating and often illuminating. But enough set-up.

For the next several weeks each and every entry in this ‘repurposed’ series will appear unedited, warts and all, with no excuses or apologies, exactly as written at the time, five years ago.

It seems to me at least an interesting time to look back - has much changed in the world? Fiji experienced yet another coup just a few days back and America is embroiled in a war it can’t win. A war that is a direct result of that tragic day in September 2001.

And so it goes….

Day 1 - Saturday December 8, 2001 - Vancouver - 10:10am Local Time

God, can you tell her biological clock is ticking or what? Children in the waiting lounge are all over her and of course she just has to kiss and play with each of them. And the parents… recognizing her on sight they seize the photo-op.

I’m sitting with actress Minnie Driver who’s on her way back to L.A. after making a film here in Vancouver. (I promise not to mention the Matt Damon thing if she promises not to mention the blue linen shirt I picked out in haste - what the fuck was I thinking…?!)

And she’s stunning, and tall with a wonderfully educated British accent. Just the thing to set my heart pounding (as if the long dark hair, longer legs and breathtaking smile weren’t enough!) A definite good start to the trip!

After some small talk I make a pass - I mean a pitch, for a feature film I’m considering. She gives me her agent’s name and promises to read the script if I send it. She thanks me for the coffee, smiles, turns and spends the next eleven point five seconds redefining the word, ‘jetway’. She doesn’t so much walk as glide when she rounds the bend and begins to disappear into first class. As she enters the plane I can only imagine a dozen other fantasies beginning where mine leaves off.

OK - maybe it was a pass.

Same Day - 11:47am Local Time

Sitting in “Hospitality Class”. (Whose idea was it to name this class of service on Air Canada, “hospitality”…?! So much for truth in advertising!) The pilot comes on the loudspeaker and makes the ridiculous comment about everyone on board “having a choice of airlines” and he’s so pleased that we all chose Air Canada. Name one other airline in this country - double dog dare you!

Same Day - Los Angeles - 2:29pm Local Time

Landing in Los Angeles. Temperature here is 88º Fahrenheit - yet another addition to my ‘good start’.

Later

Four and a half hours to wait for my Air New Zealand flight to Fiji in LAX… OK - on balance this only shaves a few points off my good start.

Still Later

Why Fiji…? Well, why not, I suppose. I’ve always wanted to go there. It’s not Hawaii (too American), it’s not France (too French), it’s not Britain (it’s Christmas and too cold), and it’s not Canada (it’s Christmas and too cold).

Every few years I decide it’s time for an extended vacation. By extended I mean more than ten days, more than two weeks… a month or more if possible. Since it was Christmastime and business was slow it was the perfect time, and boy did I need it!

I called my friend Marion at Shangri-La Hotels in New York City to see if there would be ‘room at the inn’ around Christmas, since I noticed the chain had two resorts in Fiji just ripe for the picking. She had always said, if I was travelling anywhere near a Shangri-La let her know and she’d see what she could do about accommodating me, at a special rate of course!.

Well, as it turned out there was no room at the inn. Christmas is impossible everywhere it seems. So, I made-up my own itinerary and decided to start at a small, quaint little island called Malolo Lailai where I would find an even smaller, quainter vacation spot known as Musket Cove Resort.

Later Still

There are two burly Maoris waiting with me. We’re the only two at Gate 21A, so far. I feel important. Several people look at me and believe that the two native Kiwis are my bodyguards. Perhaps I’m carrying something expensive, maybe I’m a courier. Then again maybe I’m under arrest and being escorted to prison in a foreign country… a penal colony. OK, I’m tired, I admit it.

Same Day - 4:01pm Local Time

“XM” is all the rage down here in La-La Land. What exactly is “XM”? Well, as the marketing bumph goes, “First there was AM, then FM, now XM!” It’s satellite radio delivered direct to your car with a special receiver. One hundred channels of digital quality music and news with over thirty of them commercial-free. A seamless signal coast-to-coast. Learn something new every day.

Same Day - 4:41pm Local Time

Bored now!

Three Hours Later

So much for the four and half hour wait! Plane’s delayed. The balance is shifting as a few more points get shaved.

Same Day - 9:50pm Local Time

A note to whoever’s responsible for maintenance on Air New Zealand: FIX SEAT 25A! I think I’m jinxed. The footrest won’t go down, the tray table won’t go up and the light does both but not consistently! At least the Cloudy Bay Chardonnay was palatable with the roast chicken.

Airborne - Finally!

Only ten hours left, then I get to spend a few hours ‘waiting’ in a hotel before taking the catamaran to Musket Cove. I’ll be much older by then, but also much happier one assumes. (I love my new iBook! So do several other passengers apparently.) Sleep I must!